Mantra
by Frantik
Summary: A drabble/ficlet collection of the Phoenix x Miles kind, although the other characters will be getting some love, too. 4 - ...and sometimes Phoenix wonders if Miles will ever understand.
1. a sentence

_a/n: Timelines? What on earth are those?_

**1 - a sentence**

* * *

When Phoenix had dropped down onto one knee and asked, "Miles Edgeworth, will you marry me?", the man in question was stunned.

He wasn't the best of people, he knew. He'd...done things, before he was reunited with Phoenix, _after_ he was reunited with Phoenix, that made that familiar feeling of guilt and self-pity swell in his chest whenever he happened to remember them. He was a cold, ruthless, stubborn, pompous, arrogant, selfish, socially-inept, conniving, perfectionist sonofabitch, as he'd heard Phoenix growl in frustration numerous times before after a particularly frustrating day in court, but even though he was aware of his faults, to others it appeared as if he simply didn't want to change. Truthfully, he didn't _know_ how to better himself, his personality hammered in by his years studying under von Karma -- and even now, when he knew that it was his job as a prosecutor to find the truth, he _still _couldn't stop that feeling of bitter anger whenever he watched a guilty verdict slip between his fingers, even when Phoenix hotly defended his clients innocence...

He couldn't understand how someone like Phoenix, trusting, stubborn, honest Phoenix, could say those words to him, the man who was everything Phoenix had hated, the man who had spent the last year and a half constantly in denial that he had a _boyfriend_, a _lover_, someone that had chosen _him_, Miles Edgeworth, out of everyone else in the world, someone that actually cared that he breathed...

Why him? Him, of all people...

But at this point in time, it didn't really matter. He had so many things to say, so many words he couldn't break down his wall of pride enough to say, but that Phoenix seemed to somehow hear anyway, a happy, deliriously happy feeling making his head spin as he grabbed Phoenix by the shoulders and crushed him against his trademark magenta suit, fingers digging into the cheap blue fabric, smiling into the other man's shoulder as he whispered his response and his motion mimicked by Phoenix, feeling the vibrations as the other man laughed happily and hugged him back.

He didn't understand Phoenix at all.

But that was okay.


	2. real

_a/n: Shitty, un-beta'd, cavity-inducing fluff, you have been warned!!_

**2 - real**

* * *

Phoenix tapped his Steel Samurai pen (courtesy of Maya) on his chin, eying the piece of paper in front of him with a mix of awe and...bewilderment, to be honest. "Your mother's maiden name?"

Miles leaned over and plucked the pen out of the ex-attorney's hands, filling that section out in his neat, script-like handwriting that stood out like a beacon amid his lover's messy scrawl. "Did you ever pass kindergarten, Wright? Your penmanship is an abomination." He laid the pen back on the desk and leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest with a little huff of annoyance.

"Well excuuuse me, not everyone has _perfect_ handwriting, your highness," Phoenix shot back, along with a scowl in the other man's direction as he merely smirked in response.

"Sticks and stones, Wright. Are you done yet?"

"Almost!" Phoenix batted Miles' hand away from where he had reached over to try and grab that piece of paper from the desk, that piece of paper that seemed _daunting, _almost, the more he stared at it and at the sections that he and Miles had filled out together, at the neat script at the top that read 'California Marriage License'...

He quickly scribbled in the last of the fields and leaned back to admire his handiwork. Miles joined him, reached over to at last take the license into his possession as he gave it a once over, making sure Phoenix hadn't missed anything amid his due to his bubbling enthusiasm. "Looks like we're done, Wright. We'll have to turn it in tomorrow, after work, seeing as this is a Sunday..."

"..._shit_, Miles, we're actually doing this."

Miles looked up and eyed the other man, who was giving the prosecutor a look of child-like wonder that he always found so endearing. "I should hope so, Wright, as you were the one to make the proposition in the first place."

"Yeah, I know, but..." He was at a loss for words, staring down at his hand, gold wedding band glinting in the shafts of light that filtered in through the blinds. "It just seems so...so..."

"...unreal?"

Phoenix blinked, staring at what was now Miles' hand covering his own, his matching gold ring making a soft 'ping' noise as rubbed against his. He swallowed and twined his finger's with the other man's, closing his eyes and exhaling. "...yeah."

"...but real it is."

"I know."

Phoenix didn't think he could ever be happier than he was at that moment, with Miles' hand in his and the marriage liscense lying completed on the table.


	3. at my most beautiful

**A/N:** Written for a drabble meme on LJ, done to the song "At my Most Beautiful" by R.E.M.

* * *

Phoenix was beautiful.

It wasn't just in the handsome sense, either. Phoenix was ___beautiful. __I_t never failed to floor Miles, floor him so completely, the lengths to which the man had gone for him, all of the sacrifices and risks and frustration and stubborn determination. And after that. After things began to get better. Phoenix became ever more beautiful. In every simple grin and warm laugh and gentle hug, Phoenix became more and more beautiful to Miles, who could never respond in words because ___every single time _he realized this, he couldn't trust himself to speak, risking breaking off into a crying fit when he wondered what he had ever done to deserve it. All of the warmth, affection, blunt love and caring.  
_  
_Watching him sleep, ever soundly, often splayed onto his back in a less-than-flattering pose, Miles would carefully monitor every rise and fall of his chest, ever little twitch of his eyelashes and every little mutter that came from dreaming some dream that he hoped was wonderful.

Phoenix was beautiful. And it was only at night, when the other man was soundly asleep, that Miles could quietly say this, and sure enough, a hand would slowly rise to his mouth and he felt the hot sting of happy tears bead into the left of his hand.


	4. don't ask me why

A/N: Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever write anything for this that's not basically the same theme reworded over and over. 8|

* * *

**4. don't ask me why**

"You're fighting a losing battle, Wright."

Phoenix tilted his head, a light, slightly strained smile barely touching his face. "Am I?"

"_Yes." _Miles said this as sternly as he could, mustering up his glare to full power as the two men stood opposite each other outside the courthouse doors. "I don't...I don't understand. Why do you feel that you have to constantly drop everything you're doing and...burden me with your ridiculous antics that only serve as a paper-thin cover-up for your pity?" There was a sour taste in his mouth as he blurted the words, especially as a hard look passed over Phoenix's eyes, briefly, before the concerned and frustrated look returned.

"Well, hey, don't ask me why." The other shrugged, shoulders stiff with stress and, most likely, irritation. Miles felt a stab of guilt in his stomach. "I guess it's probably because I like you? It's not so hard to understand."

Yes, yes it was. Miles _didn't_ understand. Not at all.


End file.
